SHAZZAM
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
I've been smoking weed...ragweed
My eyes are red. I'm feeling kind of light-headed. No, I'm not high. It's allergy season ho, and it's in full effect. I don't believe I've ever been so negatively affected by my allergies but this seems to be an all-time low. I've been on mad pills for about three weeks now. Nothing seems to be able to stop the run of my nose or the water of my eyes. I'm not crying damn it, it's the pollen! Mess has been pretty incredible. I work outside. This is rather dumb for someone with such bad allergies. And working outside has certainly not helped me out at all. It's killing me softly man! I'm hurting right now. My head has all kinds of histamine clogging me up. I hope I don't have to fall asleep with my mouth open. That always gives me a sore throat the next morning, and that mess is just no good.
Tonight, I bought "Friday After Next". I already own the first "Friday" and I thought this one was also pretty funny. It sucks that "Next Friday" is so bad. It is not funny. Ok, honestly, the original Friday is the best and the other two don't really compare. But seeing the third for $10 was an offer I couldn't refuse. Wal-Mart has a weird way of making you buy things you didn't realize you wanted or needed. This movie is real funny. I may watch it tomorrow. I don't know. I tried watching "The Aviator" the other night. After 42 minutes, I thought, "And I still have another two hours." I had to turn it off. I ended up downloading music. Leonardo DiCaprio doesn't do much for me. Every time I look at him I think, "Why is this 35 year old man trapped in a 12 year old boy's body!?" It's kind of weird. Why is Giselle with him? If she wants a for real young looking dude that is young (not 12 damn it, but at least a for real adult) give me a shout.
I think I should go to sleep. I wanted to sleep way in today, but I woke up at like 9:44 and could not fall back asleep. My right nostril was super-congested and I couldn't breathe. This allergy shit sucks. I think I may have to suck it up and go to the doctor. I'm not afraid of the doctor, but they're out of the way and inconvenient. But I cannot breathe and the eyes keep watering. We shall see. ¶ 12:47 AM 0 comments
Tonight, I bought "Friday After Next". I already own the first "Friday" and I thought this one was also pretty funny. It sucks that "Next Friday" is so bad. It is not funny. Ok, honestly, the original Friday is the best and the other two don't really compare. But seeing the third for $10 was an offer I couldn't refuse. Wal-Mart has a weird way of making you buy things you didn't realize you wanted or needed. This movie is real funny. I may watch it tomorrow. I don't know. I tried watching "The Aviator" the other night. After 42 minutes, I thought, "And I still have another two hours." I had to turn it off. I ended up downloading music. Leonardo DiCaprio doesn't do much for me. Every time I look at him I think, "Why is this 35 year old man trapped in a 12 year old boy's body!?" It's kind of weird. Why is Giselle with him? If she wants a for real young looking dude that is young (not 12 damn it, but at least a for real adult) give me a shout.
I think I should go to sleep. I wanted to sleep way in today, but I woke up at like 9:44 and could not fall back asleep. My right nostril was super-congested and I couldn't breathe. This allergy shit sucks. I think I may have to suck it up and go to the doctor. I'm not afraid of the doctor, but they're out of the way and inconvenient. But I cannot breathe and the eyes keep watering. We shall see. ¶ 12:47 AM 0 comments
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Second row: just me and the force
I am by no means a light-saber carrying fan of Star Wars. I enjoyed the movies when I was a kid, so seeing how the story came to be through the three prequels has been somewhat important. I have to know the whole story! Anyway, my friend and I roll up to the theater, leaving twenty minutes early to beat the crowd. I think an hour early would have been better. These fools had every seat saved. There were no two or three chairs together anywhere. I will never understand why people cannot sit next to each other. Coodies do not exist, move over ho! So we ended up in the second row. There was no uncomfortable craning of the neck to see the screen, but the screen is so large that everything going on seems to be multiplied by thirty-seven and going on simultaneously. And that was just the previews.
I don't know why, but the theme music to Star Wars gives me goose-bumps. It is very inspiring for some reason. John Williams is a master of doing the music thing. I believe he also rocked out on Shindler's List (sad movie, but awesome music). So things get crackin in the galaxy far far away. I always read critics who despise George Lucas' script-writing but I never really took notice. But in this one it was very apparent. It seemed like a how-to on clichés. It doesn't take away from the movie too much though because we all know what happens anyway. First, Anakin is a big time pushover. I kept thinking, "Grow a pair you pansy." The head senator man had that fool under his control in a matter of minutes. I believe being mentally weak was his weakness anyway, so I guess it makes sense. But he was so easily swayed. He's a dumb person. I guess that's why he's got to be such a badass when he becomes Darth Vader, you know, to overcompensate for his inability to stand up for his Jedi beliefs (among other things, come on, he's a machine now). Haven't there been comparisons lately of Vader and George Bush? I think ol George knows exactly what he wants and it's Condoleezza and Chaney that do whatever he says. Annnyway.
So Natalie Portman does her thing in this movie. She's such a good actress (see Garden State), but here she seems aloof. She lost the spunk or something her character had in the first two. I guess that's what happens when you fall in love with the future-bionic man. She's a damn fool, too. Her character and Vader are so stupid, so blind to anything outside of themselves, that I just find it hard to believe they will let the fate of the galaxy fall by the wayside in an effort to save themselves. Selfish-ass bitches. But I guess it does have to happen this way because otherwise the first three movies would be retarded because there would be no Vader, Luke and Leia. Nevertheless, Portman does a lot of tramping around and moaning and groaning. I believe she is a desperate housewife before the term was even coined. Barefoot and pregnant, barefoot and pregnant.
All kinds of battles and dying go down. Samuel L. Jackson (his twin works at my local Olive Garden) dies. That was sad. But even he wasn't his normal cinematic badass self. I attribute this to Lucas and his vision, or whatever crock he wants us to believe. Obi Wan doesn't die (which we knew) but it appeared to be a close call. And this fool left Anakin to die. Ok, so he was part of the dark side, but he was Obi Wan's dog, homie, his ronie, his sconie. And he left that man to simmer and fizzle to his death. That was a cold day in Tatooine. So the bad emperor dude comes and rescues the scorched Anakin/Vader. Next time we see Vader, he's outfitted in the infamous breathing suit, equipped of course with James Earl Jones' voice. That was hot if they brought him back because it certainly sounded like him. Hayden Christiansen just doesn't sound menacing to me. Maybe to an Ewok or something though. Anyway, James Earl Jones' voice put the final touches on the transformation from the five year-old kid in Episode One to the only thing human is the head man of Episode Three. I was definitely left with a strong desire to see the first three films. I know how mess turns out, but the segue-way into the first movies was flawless. I must see them all! The movie did an excellent job of blending the prequels with the subsequent movies, even if you're not a Star Wars freak like myself, you will enjoy this. Just make sure you have been to the bathroom (this bitch is like five hours long, I nodded off several times...one can only take so much force mumbo-jumbo and goofy looking aliens...and I was mad sleepy) and get there early. Otherwise you end up sitting next to someone born in the mid-90's who talks too much and knows aliens' languages. That's cool man, but keep the Wookie to yourself. ¶ 11:36 PM 0 comments
I don't know why, but the theme music to Star Wars gives me goose-bumps. It is very inspiring for some reason. John Williams is a master of doing the music thing. I believe he also rocked out on Shindler's List (sad movie, but awesome music). So things get crackin in the galaxy far far away. I always read critics who despise George Lucas' script-writing but I never really took notice. But in this one it was very apparent. It seemed like a how-to on clichés. It doesn't take away from the movie too much though because we all know what happens anyway. First, Anakin is a big time pushover. I kept thinking, "Grow a pair you pansy." The head senator man had that fool under his control in a matter of minutes. I believe being mentally weak was his weakness anyway, so I guess it makes sense. But he was so easily swayed. He's a dumb person. I guess that's why he's got to be such a badass when he becomes Darth Vader, you know, to overcompensate for his inability to stand up for his Jedi beliefs (among other things, come on, he's a machine now). Haven't there been comparisons lately of Vader and George Bush? I think ol George knows exactly what he wants and it's Condoleezza and Chaney that do whatever he says. Annnyway.
So Natalie Portman does her thing in this movie. She's such a good actress (see Garden State), but here she seems aloof. She lost the spunk or something her character had in the first two. I guess that's what happens when you fall in love with the future-bionic man. She's a damn fool, too. Her character and Vader are so stupid, so blind to anything outside of themselves, that I just find it hard to believe they will let the fate of the galaxy fall by the wayside in an effort to save themselves. Selfish-ass bitches. But I guess it does have to happen this way because otherwise the first three movies would be retarded because there would be no Vader, Luke and Leia. Nevertheless, Portman does a lot of tramping around and moaning and groaning. I believe she is a desperate housewife before the term was even coined. Barefoot and pregnant, barefoot and pregnant.
All kinds of battles and dying go down. Samuel L. Jackson (his twin works at my local Olive Garden) dies. That was sad. But even he wasn't his normal cinematic badass self. I attribute this to Lucas and his vision, or whatever crock he wants us to believe. Obi Wan doesn't die (which we knew) but it appeared to be a close call. And this fool left Anakin to die. Ok, so he was part of the dark side, but he was Obi Wan's dog, homie, his ronie, his sconie. And he left that man to simmer and fizzle to his death. That was a cold day in Tatooine. So the bad emperor dude comes and rescues the scorched Anakin/Vader. Next time we see Vader, he's outfitted in the infamous breathing suit, equipped of course with James Earl Jones' voice. That was hot if they brought him back because it certainly sounded like him. Hayden Christiansen just doesn't sound menacing to me. Maybe to an Ewok or something though. Anyway, James Earl Jones' voice put the final touches on the transformation from the five year-old kid in Episode One to the only thing human is the head man of Episode Three. I was definitely left with a strong desire to see the first three films. I know how mess turns out, but the segue-way into the first movies was flawless. I must see them all! The movie did an excellent job of blending the prequels with the subsequent movies, even if you're not a Star Wars freak like myself, you will enjoy this. Just make sure you have been to the bathroom (this bitch is like five hours long, I nodded off several times...one can only take so much force mumbo-jumbo and goofy looking aliens...and I was mad sleepy) and get there early. Otherwise you end up sitting next to someone born in the mid-90's who talks too much and knows aliens' languages. That's cool man, but keep the Wookie to yourself. ¶ 11:36 PM 0 comments
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Chaotic, er just plain insane
I know you watched Britney Spears' reality show last night. Wow. It is official that both she and Mr. Spears were born in a house on wheels. You know, I'm all for folks keeping it real, not fronting and what not. But this is almost like extreme reality television. I feel like this show is verging on invasion of this ho's personal life. It almost just feels creepy. It's cool that you want folks all up in your business, but I don't want to watch you gloat about how good sex is with trailer daddy. It's just gross. I swear he works at the Exxon down the street. Isn't he a dancer or something? What was he ever in, the instructional video on how to look like Justin Timberlake's West Virginia cousin? Speaking of which, does anybody else notice their similarity? They look eerily alike to me, that is until Kevin decided to stop cutting and washing his hair. He also reminds me of Billy Bob Thorton. Odd he is.
So this whole thing (other than the random I guess post hoc interviews) was taped on a regular-ass video camera. If this is where reality television is heading, expect my show in the fall. It seems like Britney saw "The Blair Witch Project" and thought, "Golly, I could do somethin like that there". It's both ghetto and trailer at the same time. The editing makes little sense. There are frequent cuts between Britney "in concert" (meaning, she has on a wig and is moving her mouth) and Britney in the dressing room. This chick is for real not pretty when she's not made up. Which reminds me, look at this picture. If you don't roll over in laughter you're not human. Shit is hilarious. I would never get with this ho looking like that all the time. I bet she has killer morning breath, too. She looks all kinds of rough. I bet her and Kevin reek havoc on some Slim Jims. I don't think they can decide between wanting to be thugs or bumpkins. They're a confusing couple.
Ok, I just looked at my title and it reminded me of the theme song. The song that plays at the beginning is one that didn't make Britney's last album. First, if it didn't make the album it must have been pretty bad because some of the stuff that actually did make the album was painful on the ears. So they decided it would be better as the theme song for her reality show. I think whoever works for Michael Jackson (all his yes men) also work for Britney Spears. Second, the words. I am sure she wrote this one herself. "Aw shucks Jaime Lynn, I am gonna write me a little song today. I was reading the dictionary, you know, so then I will look smart, and I saw this word. I had to ask Madonna what it meant. She's all into kaballah, which means you're smart, so she would know. And was like, 'Oh my gah, this would be such a purty song'. So then I went over to Sweden and found that guy who did 'Oops I Did It Again' and had him produce it. I just love how he makes all my songs sound alike. But like, you know, I was like, 'My life is chaotic'. And it reminded me of a perfume they sell at Piggly Wiggly, so I knew it was the one." Goofy-ass shit. The song sucks. The show is by no means compelling. It could've used the scripting The Simple Life used. I don't think, however, it was meant to be a reality show because it seems way bootleg. I will probably watch it again though. It's so bad, but damn it, I am struggling for television these days. A little over a month until Bobby Brown is on. Thank god. ¶ 12:38 PM 1 comments
So this whole thing (other than the random I guess post hoc interviews) was taped on a regular-ass video camera. If this is where reality television is heading, expect my show in the fall. It seems like Britney saw "The Blair Witch Project" and thought, "Golly, I could do somethin like that there". It's both ghetto and trailer at the same time. The editing makes little sense. There are frequent cuts between Britney "in concert" (meaning, she has on a wig and is moving her mouth) and Britney in the dressing room. This chick is for real not pretty when she's not made up. Which reminds me, look at this picture. If you don't roll over in laughter you're not human. Shit is hilarious. I would never get with this ho looking like that all the time. I bet she has killer morning breath, too. She looks all kinds of rough. I bet her and Kevin reek havoc on some Slim Jims. I don't think they can decide between wanting to be thugs or bumpkins. They're a confusing couple.
Ok, I just looked at my title and it reminded me of the theme song. The song that plays at the beginning is one that didn't make Britney's last album. First, if it didn't make the album it must have been pretty bad because some of the stuff that actually did make the album was painful on the ears. So they decided it would be better as the theme song for her reality show. I think whoever works for Michael Jackson (all his yes men) also work for Britney Spears. Second, the words. I am sure she wrote this one herself. "Aw shucks Jaime Lynn, I am gonna write me a little song today. I was reading the dictionary, you know, so then I will look smart, and I saw this word. I had to ask Madonna what it meant. She's all into kaballah, which means you're smart, so she would know. And was like, 'Oh my gah, this would be such a purty song'. So then I went over to Sweden and found that guy who did 'Oops I Did It Again' and had him produce it. I just love how he makes all my songs sound alike. But like, you know, I was like, 'My life is chaotic'. And it reminded me of a perfume they sell at Piggly Wiggly, so I knew it was the one." Goofy-ass shit. The song sucks. The show is by no means compelling. It could've used the scripting The Simple Life used. I don't think, however, it was meant to be a reality show because it seems way bootleg. I will probably watch it again though. It's so bad, but damn it, I am struggling for television these days. A little over a month until Bobby Brown is on. Thank god. ¶ 12:38 PM 1 comments
Saturday, May 14, 2005
What up possum
I've lived in the south for my whole life. Never in my life have I see so many possums as I have in the past week. These badboys are everywhere. And only at night? Are they afraid of the day? I think they would be more likely to live if they did come out in the day because then we could see their dumbasses. Instead we are greeted by their mangy-ass selves and their like electric blue eyes when headlights hit them at night. Why you gotta be all up on the side of the road? I do not get these things.
Have you ever thought you had lice? Ugh, my head is straight-up itching for real and it's got me all paranoid. My sister got lice once from camp and it was the end of the world in our house. Everything had to be sprayed down with lice killer spray and everything else like washed in scalding water. I will never understand why they let people who forget towels to dry off with towels from lost and found. That's not necessarily unsanitary, but it's just kind of gross. But it does explain how lice becomes an epidemic among young fools. But yeah, my head is itching and stuff. I have become so slack when it comes to bathing as of late. That is for real gross. I've heard lice doesn't really like dirty hair or something, so I believe I'm in the clear. But man, I don't want no lice! That mess is serious. I am a grown-ass fool fearing lice. If you never experience the wrath of lice, you won't understand. I was never a victim, but I had to have that little-ass comb run through my hair with that heinous smelling shampoo. That stuff is gross.
Yeah, that's about it.
¶ 12:08 AM 0 comments
Have you ever thought you had lice? Ugh, my head is straight-up itching for real and it's got me all paranoid. My sister got lice once from camp and it was the end of the world in our house. Everything had to be sprayed down with lice killer spray and everything else like washed in scalding water. I will never understand why they let people who forget towels to dry off with towels from lost and found. That's not necessarily unsanitary, but it's just kind of gross. But it does explain how lice becomes an epidemic among young fools. But yeah, my head is itching and stuff. I have become so slack when it comes to bathing as of late. That is for real gross. I've heard lice doesn't really like dirty hair or something, so I believe I'm in the clear. But man, I don't want no lice! That mess is serious. I am a grown-ass fool fearing lice. If you never experience the wrath of lice, you won't understand. I was never a victim, but I had to have that little-ass comb run through my hair with that heinous smelling shampoo. That stuff is gross.
Yeah, that's about it.
¶ 12:08 AM 0 comments
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
I'm just slightly crazy
Ok, so maybe I tend to harp on things a lot. I don't feel like people are called out the way they need to be. Hey Paris, your movie sucks. Hey girl, don't write friends notes to tell them you're moving out. Next point.
Wow. I just deleted what was going to be rant about fake-ass people. See TLC's "Case of the Fake People". And yes, that was just a TLC reference. I'm so gully, so hood. I'm done with the fake, end of story. Next.
I don't feel like me saying folks are acting dumb is so bad. I act dumb, but I can laugh at myself. Some folks take themselves so seriously that it is funny. I'm just trying to be funny, that's all.
Lots of quick, short paragraphs. I bought Tina Turner's greatest hits tonight. I already had the old one from McDonald's from like 1994, but this new mess is like two-CDs. Hot. Folks wanting to deny Tina is like folks wanting to deny Michael Jackson. If you try, you are lying! "Nutbush City Limits" is some funky-ass music, man. Funky for real. And then she breaks it down, mid-90s R&B style with, "Why Must We Wait Until Tonight". Ooooh weeee. I know somebody who had to turn that song off because it was too sexual. Like it was obscene or something. I laughed. Did you know Bryan Adams helped write that song? Insane!
Ok, so since I left school, I've realized how odd everything really did smell. Everything I own has this peculiar smell of my stank sheets or something. I don't get it. Funky smells are like pouring out of my room. And I want to leave the window open to like air mess out, but then I fear for pollen like invading and making my throat all itchy. This was this case this morning. I was all trying to scratch it (by doing the hocking a loogie thing...if you don't know, don't ask). I don't know if it worked, because my throat ended up being mad itchy all day. Who knows. Pollen is next to stank smells on the list of silent killers. Who knew the smell was that bad? I had no clue.
I am up way late. I've been on too long. I had to send someone an email to explain my performance on one of my exams. I just don't see how it happened. Ok, I watched two and a half hours of Making the Band 3. I did, and I don't regret it. But that grade is not indicative of my performance man, I am telling you. We'll see how it goes down. I guess I'm done or something. Don't let folks fool you. And don't be mad at folks who don't deserve it. I get in a bad-ass mood sometimes and take it out on those closest to me. And that just ain't right. Don't hate me if I act insane. I love you guys. I believe it was Seal who said, "We're all a little crazy." Me, I'm just slightly more than a little. Have a bomb one. ¶ 12:41 AM 0 comments
Wow. I just deleted what was going to be rant about fake-ass people. See TLC's "Case of the Fake People". And yes, that was just a TLC reference. I'm so gully, so hood. I'm done with the fake, end of story. Next.
I don't feel like me saying folks are acting dumb is so bad. I act dumb, but I can laugh at myself. Some folks take themselves so seriously that it is funny. I'm just trying to be funny, that's all.
Lots of quick, short paragraphs. I bought Tina Turner's greatest hits tonight. I already had the old one from McDonald's from like 1994, but this new mess is like two-CDs. Hot. Folks wanting to deny Tina is like folks wanting to deny Michael Jackson. If you try, you are lying! "Nutbush City Limits" is some funky-ass music, man. Funky for real. And then she breaks it down, mid-90s R&B style with, "Why Must We Wait Until Tonight". Ooooh weeee. I know somebody who had to turn that song off because it was too sexual. Like it was obscene or something. I laughed. Did you know Bryan Adams helped write that song? Insane!
Ok, so since I left school, I've realized how odd everything really did smell. Everything I own has this peculiar smell of my stank sheets or something. I don't get it. Funky smells are like pouring out of my room. And I want to leave the window open to like air mess out, but then I fear for pollen like invading and making my throat all itchy. This was this case this morning. I was all trying to scratch it (by doing the hocking a loogie thing...if you don't know, don't ask). I don't know if it worked, because my throat ended up being mad itchy all day. Who knows. Pollen is next to stank smells on the list of silent killers. Who knew the smell was that bad? I had no clue.
I am up way late. I've been on too long. I had to send someone an email to explain my performance on one of my exams. I just don't see how it happened. Ok, I watched two and a half hours of Making the Band 3. I did, and I don't regret it. But that grade is not indicative of my performance man, I am telling you. We'll see how it goes down. I guess I'm done or something. Don't let folks fool you. And don't be mad at folks who don't deserve it. I get in a bad-ass mood sometimes and take it out on those closest to me. And that just ain't right. Don't hate me if I act insane. I love you guys. I believe it was Seal who said, "We're all a little crazy." Me, I'm just slightly more than a little. Have a bomb one. ¶ 12:41 AM 0 comments
Sunday, May 08, 2005
House of Crap
I went and watched "House of Wax" last night. Other than the fact that they beat the "Paris Hilton videotape" thing to death, that the script sucked, the acting was stiff and there were thousands of pounds of wax and/or peanut butter, it was ok. Ok at best. Paris is, well, mechanical. But I really don't think that the script helped. The one-liners were goofy. Chad Michael I'm on Seventh Heaven or some shit looked like Justin Timberlake. I think he was told to model his character after Timberlake, on the whole I will pretend to be a bad-ass from the streets kind of way. Not hard at all. He came off real goofy like. And what was the dude from I think it was called "My Cousin Skeeter" making out with Paris Hilton? That was very odd, indeed. He looks about twelve years old, compared to Paris who looks somewhere between 20 and 45. She looks so weird sometimes, but still hot. I believe you would call that an anomaly or something. She's different, but still captivating in a weird way. Who knows. The movie was not hot, so if you want to see it, rent it. But it will leave you with this weird fear of candles or something. I tell you, I am not going near anything wax related for a while.
I am so bored. I hate hurrying up to wait, for real. It smells like old ass in the hallway. It smells real bad. Speaking of stink, apparently it was stinking up in the room for like weeks or something, but we were not aware of the odor because, well, we live here. Some people made some complaints, but I was like chill out spaz, I don't smell anything. Turns out, there was something deadly funky in the trashcan that we didn't smell it. Apparently everybody else could smell it except for us. I hope this is not indicative of like other odors I miss. Like sometimes, I won't shower for a couple days or something (not because I'm gross, but sometimes I'm just lazy...which is not to say that I am so lazy as to not clean myself or clean my room or anything, so don't get it twisted!), and I bet I really do smell bad. I can smell the grease and stuff on my face I think. It definitely smells different when you are clean, so I think dirty does have a smell. I think I'm going to start taking showers everyday from now on. Starting tomorrow.
Why would anyone buy "Pimp My Ride" on any kind of format? I don't want deleted scenes of Ish talking about how we cut the vinyl to put in someone’s Bronco. That show is kind of cool to watch when you catch it by accident, but I do not go out of my way to make sure it is something that I make sure to watch. And it's the anchor of MTV's Sunday night television. Let's get retarded is what I think when I see that crap on there Sunday nights. Ok, that was me last week watching the new Punk'd, despite my loathing of Ashton Kutcher. Mess was funny, with real-ass celebrities like Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz, like people who you would never think would be on that show. Normally, it's like freakin Stonecold Steve Austin or Screech, but they had for real A-list folks on there. I guess Ashton decided he had to stop messing around with the goofies. But then like Joss Stone was on the next episode. Maybe the top-level celebrity thing was a one-episode thing. Who knows.
Anybody else seen the preview for this week's Real World/Road Rules challenge thing? Shit man, it looks insane. So like Mike was giving Brad a wedgie, and Brad seemed eerily into it. And then all of a sudden, he goes straight-up, hardcore ballistic. He says something like, "Congratulations son, you're a meathead. But don't ever put your hands on my underwear." So Mike like ripped the kid's underwear off of him. But fool didn't seem to be minding at all, until he was without underwear? The commercials leave me rather confused, but dang, it looks insane and you know my ass will be watching it.
I believe I am the most random person ever. Okay, actually not. I know at least one other person who will jump from one thing to the other to the other and then back again. Anyway, just played the Pimp my Ride game thing. Goofy. I need a life. ¶ 12:08 PM 0 comments
I am so bored. I hate hurrying up to wait, for real. It smells like old ass in the hallway. It smells real bad. Speaking of stink, apparently it was stinking up in the room for like weeks or something, but we were not aware of the odor because, well, we live here. Some people made some complaints, but I was like chill out spaz, I don't smell anything. Turns out, there was something deadly funky in the trashcan that we didn't smell it. Apparently everybody else could smell it except for us. I hope this is not indicative of like other odors I miss. Like sometimes, I won't shower for a couple days or something (not because I'm gross, but sometimes I'm just lazy...which is not to say that I am so lazy as to not clean myself or clean my room or anything, so don't get it twisted!), and I bet I really do smell bad. I can smell the grease and stuff on my face I think. It definitely smells different when you are clean, so I think dirty does have a smell. I think I'm going to start taking showers everyday from now on. Starting tomorrow.
Why would anyone buy "Pimp My Ride" on any kind of format? I don't want deleted scenes of Ish talking about how we cut the vinyl to put in someone’s Bronco. That show is kind of cool to watch when you catch it by accident, but I do not go out of my way to make sure it is something that I make sure to watch. And it's the anchor of MTV's Sunday night television. Let's get retarded is what I think when I see that crap on there Sunday nights. Ok, that was me last week watching the new Punk'd, despite my loathing of Ashton Kutcher. Mess was funny, with real-ass celebrities like Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz, like people who you would never think would be on that show. Normally, it's like freakin Stonecold Steve Austin or Screech, but they had for real A-list folks on there. I guess Ashton decided he had to stop messing around with the goofies. But then like Joss Stone was on the next episode. Maybe the top-level celebrity thing was a one-episode thing. Who knows.
Anybody else seen the preview for this week's Real World/Road Rules challenge thing? Shit man, it looks insane. So like Mike was giving Brad a wedgie, and Brad seemed eerily into it. And then all of a sudden, he goes straight-up, hardcore ballistic. He says something like, "Congratulations son, you're a meathead. But don't ever put your hands on my underwear." So Mike like ripped the kid's underwear off of him. But fool didn't seem to be minding at all, until he was without underwear? The commercials leave me rather confused, but dang, it looks insane and you know my ass will be watching it.
I believe I am the most random person ever. Okay, actually not. I know at least one other person who will jump from one thing to the other to the other and then back again. Anyway, just played the Pimp my Ride game thing. Goofy. I need a life. ¶ 12:08 PM 0 comments
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Call on me
I think this song is taking over my life. I find it going through my head for like hours. Either that or I'll be pelvic thrusting and singing this song to myself. This is bad. If you don't know what I'm talking about, go here. It will rule your life and you'll want to watch it over and over again. I need help. Call on meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Here's an update on the drama that went down last week. Saw the chick in the cafeteria, wanting to act like she didn't know somebody. Get your nose out of the air and recognize! I have done nothing to this girl, but I guess I'm guilty by association. Which is cool, whatever man. But dang, you can say hey to me. So now, I'm thinking she meant absolutely nothing by talking about maintaining friendships with my friend, which in turn means not maintaining friendships with anybody else. That's cool. I find it funny that she can now be found roaming around campus, hiding in weird spots, pretending to be a ghost, eat meals with people she talks mad shit about. I hold no grudges, but ho, don't lie.
I'm sitting here with that damn song still stuck in my head. Good god. My new deodorant smells like hairspray. It's not real hot. But then during the day after it's been on there a while, it makes my shirt smell weird. And this mess is like a clear gel thing, and it left deodorant stains on my black t-shirt. I wore it anyway. But it's clear and leaving white marks? I don't get it man.
Don't send me emails, unless it's like real important. I'm real bad about getting back to people for some reason. I'll send them out real quick, but I am real slow on the reply. My aunt sent me an email like three days ago and I haven't got back to her. I feel bad, but like, I am not compelled to write back. Don't know why. Notice I wrote a ton about this goofy-ass song, but haven't been able to send an email. No clue why, I just can't write back. I think it's a psychological thing maybe. Like avoidant email personality. Or maybe it's crack.
Speaking of which, Bobby Brown has a reality show coming on later this month. It's too good to be true! The Whitney/Bobby interview from a few years back, "I make too much money to smoke crack. Crack is wack" was insanely hilarious (and sad, I mean, she cannot hit the notes like the Bodyguard days, but cracked out Whitney is a damn trip!), and now they're going to be on my TV once a week!? Too hot. It was supposed to come on like in the fall sometime or something, but they moved it on up. I believe this could be the best thing on TV since Puff's Making the Band I (you know with Chopper and Dylon the crazy wannabe rastafarian who got kicked out the group cause he had to keep going to court or making side appearances like he was somebody special). Anyway, I am for real looking forward to this. It's been a while since some quality-ass reality TV has been on. Not since like Laguna Beach has anything got me watching. I honestly feel that this Bobby Brown show will be the bomb show. Like I don't see it reviving his dead career (I believe his only huge hit was just covered by Britney "I wanted to claim I was fat but I am really pregnant" Spears), but this could be big. I wonder if he and Whitney were followed on their quest for that good ganja. I only smoke cause I have bipolar disorder. Ok Bobby, whatever you say.
My mom alerted me to the fact that my favorite burrito place was appearing a whole lot on my bank statement. I think she thought it was a mistake, something I should look into, as if these folks were stealing money from me. No, I willingly give it to them that much that many times a week. Sometimes twice a day. I want to hate on Bobby for his addiction, but I am addicted to mexican food, for real. Like I was thinking I may not get one tonight, I'm not that hungry. But the stomach started talking and it's telling it to feed it with some good-ass chicken and cheese and salsa. Mmmm, mess is the bomb.
think I have some emails to read and not respond to or something. Holla. ¶ 8:34 PM 0 comments
Here's an update on the drama that went down last week. Saw the chick in the cafeteria, wanting to act like she didn't know somebody. Get your nose out of the air and recognize! I have done nothing to this girl, but I guess I'm guilty by association. Which is cool, whatever man. But dang, you can say hey to me. So now, I'm thinking she meant absolutely nothing by talking about maintaining friendships with my friend, which in turn means not maintaining friendships with anybody else. That's cool. I find it funny that she can now be found roaming around campus, hiding in weird spots, pretending to be a ghost, eat meals with people she talks mad shit about. I hold no grudges, but ho, don't lie.
I'm sitting here with that damn song still stuck in my head. Good god. My new deodorant smells like hairspray. It's not real hot. But then during the day after it's been on there a while, it makes my shirt smell weird. And this mess is like a clear gel thing, and it left deodorant stains on my black t-shirt. I wore it anyway. But it's clear and leaving white marks? I don't get it man.
Don't send me emails, unless it's like real important. I'm real bad about getting back to people for some reason. I'll send them out real quick, but I am real slow on the reply. My aunt sent me an email like three days ago and I haven't got back to her. I feel bad, but like, I am not compelled to write back. Don't know why. Notice I wrote a ton about this goofy-ass song, but haven't been able to send an email. No clue why, I just can't write back. I think it's a psychological thing maybe. Like avoidant email personality. Or maybe it's crack.
Speaking of which, Bobby Brown has a reality show coming on later this month. It's too good to be true! The Whitney/Bobby interview from a few years back, "I make too much money to smoke crack. Crack is wack" was insanely hilarious (and sad, I mean, she cannot hit the notes like the Bodyguard days, but cracked out Whitney is a damn trip!), and now they're going to be on my TV once a week!? Too hot. It was supposed to come on like in the fall sometime or something, but they moved it on up. I believe this could be the best thing on TV since Puff's Making the Band I (you know with Chopper and Dylon the crazy wannabe rastafarian who got kicked out the group cause he had to keep going to court or making side appearances like he was somebody special). Anyway, I am for real looking forward to this. It's been a while since some quality-ass reality TV has been on. Not since like Laguna Beach has anything got me watching. I honestly feel that this Bobby Brown show will be the bomb show. Like I don't see it reviving his dead career (I believe his only huge hit was just covered by Britney "I wanted to claim I was fat but I am really pregnant" Spears), but this could be big. I wonder if he and Whitney were followed on their quest for that good ganja. I only smoke cause I have bipolar disorder. Ok Bobby, whatever you say.
My mom alerted me to the fact that my favorite burrito place was appearing a whole lot on my bank statement. I think she thought it was a mistake, something I should look into, as if these folks were stealing money from me. No, I willingly give it to them that much that many times a week. Sometimes twice a day. I want to hate on Bobby for his addiction, but I am addicted to mexican food, for real. Like I was thinking I may not get one tonight, I'm not that hungry. But the stomach started talking and it's telling it to feed it with some good-ass chicken and cheese and salsa. Mmmm, mess is the bomb.
think I have some emails to read and not respond to or something. Holla. ¶ 8:34 PM 0 comments
Monday, May 02, 2005
Courtesy flush damn it!
You know, I love the bathroom. Ok, I really don't, but I do spend a large almost inordinate amount of time in there (for reasons only known to myself and a select few who can handle my shit, no pun intended). I think this has been the case my entire life. My parents told me wherever I went, I had to use their bathroom. Something about seeing different bathrooms or something. Anyway, sometimes they are kind of cool. Except when they have the creepy service-man who offer you cologne and soap. That's odd to me. I can get my own soap and paper towels. And there is certainly no reason for me to have to tip you because you put soap in my hand. I digress.
So as an avid user and fan of bathrooms, I know which ones to use and which ones not to. Which ones have overflow problems and which ones the handle breaks off and it leaks water everywhere (another story). But regardless of the amenities in the bathrooms, for the most part, they all smell bad. Either like shit or some stank cleaning product, but they all stink. And that's cool because it is a bathroom and I understand what goes down in there. So all of this leads up to last night's episode in the bathroom.
Good god. I walked in and had to restrain myself from vomiting. It smelled god-awful. Like someone's dog had attacked the bathroom after eating chocolate or something (I believe chocolate and dogs are not a good mix). So I am trying to brush my teeth and breathe through my mouth when I realize there is someone in the stall. This ho is sitting on top of whatever that deadly smell is. Does your own smell not gross you out? You're sitting on top of Satan's stench and not doing anything about it!? It was disgusting. My friend did not smell it, but whoa, it was pungent.
So if it smells bad (and you know when you lay down a stinker), give the toilet a flush. Do yourself and everyone else entering and leaving the bathroom a favor by giving a courtesy flush. I've grossed myself out before with the odor emanating from the toilet, so I've done the courtesy flush not only for others, but also for my damn self. It smells like shit to me, why would I want to sit there and take that all in? There just is no reason to do that to you or to others. And man, sometimes I swear it was the cow building at the fair it smells so bad. And it's not even that I am disgusted by the act (tell me someone who doesn't take a shit) or that I am grossed out by talking about it (see everything I've already said or have a conversation with me), but the poop smell is not hot. And for someone to sit on top of that while I'm gasping for air is not healthy for anyone.
Ah. I think I end up putting near-whole conversations I have with my friend on here. But damn it, sometimes mess is too funny not to share.
