Sunday, May 22, 2005
Second row: just me and the force
I am by no means a light-saber carrying fan of Star Wars. I enjoyed the movies when I was a kid, so seeing how the story came to be through the three prequels has been somewhat important. I have to know the whole story! Anyway, my friend and I roll up to the theater, leaving twenty minutes early to beat the crowd. I think an hour early would have been better. These fools had every seat saved. There were no two or three chairs together anywhere. I will never understand why people cannot sit next to each other. Coodies do not exist, move over ho! So we ended up in the second row. There was no uncomfortable craning of the neck to see the screen, but the screen is so large that everything going on seems to be multiplied by thirty-seven and going on simultaneously. And that was just the previews.
I don't know why, but the theme music to Star Wars gives me goose-bumps. It is very inspiring for some reason. John Williams is a master of doing the music thing. I believe he also rocked out on Shindler's List (sad movie, but awesome music). So things get crackin in the galaxy far far away. I always read critics who despise George Lucas' script-writing but I never really took notice. But in this one it was very apparent. It seemed like a how-to on clichés. It doesn't take away from the movie too much though because we all know what happens anyway. First, Anakin is a big time pushover. I kept thinking, "Grow a pair you pansy." The head senator man had that fool under his control in a matter of minutes. I believe being mentally weak was his weakness anyway, so I guess it makes sense. But he was so easily swayed. He's a dumb person. I guess that's why he's got to be such a badass when he becomes Darth Vader, you know, to overcompensate for his inability to stand up for his Jedi beliefs (among other things, come on, he's a machine now). Haven't there been comparisons lately of Vader and George Bush? I think ol George knows exactly what he wants and it's Condoleezza and Chaney that do whatever he says. Annnyway.
So Natalie Portman does her thing in this movie. She's such a good actress (see Garden State), but here she seems aloof. She lost the spunk or something her character had in the first two. I guess that's what happens when you fall in love with the future-bionic man. She's a damn fool, too. Her character and Vader are so stupid, so blind to anything outside of themselves, that I just find it hard to believe they will let the fate of the galaxy fall by the wayside in an effort to save themselves. Selfish-ass bitches. But I guess it does have to happen this way because otherwise the first three movies would be retarded because there would be no Vader, Luke and Leia. Nevertheless, Portman does a lot of tramping around and moaning and groaning. I believe she is a desperate housewife before the term was even coined. Barefoot and pregnant, barefoot and pregnant.
All kinds of battles and dying go down. Samuel L. Jackson (his twin works at my local Olive Garden) dies. That was sad. But even he wasn't his normal cinematic badass self. I attribute this to Lucas and his vision, or whatever crock he wants us to believe. Obi Wan doesn't die (which we knew) but it appeared to be a close call. And this fool left Anakin to die. Ok, so he was part of the dark side, but he was Obi Wan's dog, homie, his ronie, his sconie. And he left that man to simmer and fizzle to his death. That was a cold day in Tatooine. So the bad emperor dude comes and rescues the scorched Anakin/Vader. Next time we see Vader, he's outfitted in the infamous breathing suit, equipped of course with James Earl Jones' voice. That was hot if they brought him back because it certainly sounded like him. Hayden Christiansen just doesn't sound menacing to me. Maybe to an Ewok or something though. Anyway, James Earl Jones' voice put the final touches on the transformation from the five year-old kid in Episode One to the only thing human is the head man of Episode Three. I was definitely left with a strong desire to see the first three films. I know how mess turns out, but the segue-way into the first movies was flawless. I must see them all! The movie did an excellent job of blending the prequels with the subsequent movies, even if you're not a Star Wars freak like myself, you will enjoy this. Just make sure you have been to the bathroom (this bitch is like five hours long, I nodded off several times...one can only take so much force mumbo-jumbo and goofy looking aliens...and I was mad sleepy) and get there early. Otherwise you end up sitting next to someone born in the mid-90's who talks too much and knows aliens' languages. That's cool man, but keep the Wookie to yourself. ¶ 11:36 PM
I don't know why, but the theme music to Star Wars gives me goose-bumps. It is very inspiring for some reason. John Williams is a master of doing the music thing. I believe he also rocked out on Shindler's List (sad movie, but awesome music). So things get crackin in the galaxy far far away. I always read critics who despise George Lucas' script-writing but I never really took notice. But in this one it was very apparent. It seemed like a how-to on clichés. It doesn't take away from the movie too much though because we all know what happens anyway. First, Anakin is a big time pushover. I kept thinking, "Grow a pair you pansy." The head senator man had that fool under his control in a matter of minutes. I believe being mentally weak was his weakness anyway, so I guess it makes sense. But he was so easily swayed. He's a dumb person. I guess that's why he's got to be such a badass when he becomes Darth Vader, you know, to overcompensate for his inability to stand up for his Jedi beliefs (among other things, come on, he's a machine now). Haven't there been comparisons lately of Vader and George Bush? I think ol George knows exactly what he wants and it's Condoleezza and Chaney that do whatever he says. Annnyway.
So Natalie Portman does her thing in this movie. She's such a good actress (see Garden State), but here she seems aloof. She lost the spunk or something her character had in the first two. I guess that's what happens when you fall in love with the future-bionic man. She's a damn fool, too. Her character and Vader are so stupid, so blind to anything outside of themselves, that I just find it hard to believe they will let the fate of the galaxy fall by the wayside in an effort to save themselves. Selfish-ass bitches. But I guess it does have to happen this way because otherwise the first three movies would be retarded because there would be no Vader, Luke and Leia. Nevertheless, Portman does a lot of tramping around and moaning and groaning. I believe she is a desperate housewife before the term was even coined. Barefoot and pregnant, barefoot and pregnant.
All kinds of battles and dying go down. Samuel L. Jackson (his twin works at my local Olive Garden) dies. That was sad. But even he wasn't his normal cinematic badass self. I attribute this to Lucas and his vision, or whatever crock he wants us to believe. Obi Wan doesn't die (which we knew) but it appeared to be a close call. And this fool left Anakin to die. Ok, so he was part of the dark side, but he was Obi Wan's dog, homie, his ronie, his sconie. And he left that man to simmer and fizzle to his death. That was a cold day in Tatooine. So the bad emperor dude comes and rescues the scorched Anakin/Vader. Next time we see Vader, he's outfitted in the infamous breathing suit, equipped of course with James Earl Jones' voice. That was hot if they brought him back because it certainly sounded like him. Hayden Christiansen just doesn't sound menacing to me. Maybe to an Ewok or something though. Anyway, James Earl Jones' voice put the final touches on the transformation from the five year-old kid in Episode One to the only thing human is the head man of Episode Three. I was definitely left with a strong desire to see the first three films. I know how mess turns out, but the segue-way into the first movies was flawless. I must see them all! The movie did an excellent job of blending the prequels with the subsequent movies, even if you're not a Star Wars freak like myself, you will enjoy this. Just make sure you have been to the bathroom (this bitch is like five hours long, I nodded off several times...one can only take so much force mumbo-jumbo and goofy looking aliens...and I was mad sleepy) and get there early. Otherwise you end up sitting next to someone born in the mid-90's who talks too much and knows aliens' languages. That's cool man, but keep the Wookie to yourself. ¶ 11:36 PM
