Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Chaotic, er just plain insane
I know you watched Britney Spears' reality show last night. Wow. It is official that both she and Mr. Spears were born in a house on wheels. You know, I'm all for folks keeping it real, not fronting and what not. But this is almost like extreme reality television. I feel like this show is verging on invasion of this ho's personal life. It almost just feels creepy. It's cool that you want folks all up in your business, but I don't want to watch you gloat about how good sex is with trailer daddy. It's just gross. I swear he works at the Exxon down the street. Isn't he a dancer or something? What was he ever in, the instructional video on how to look like Justin Timberlake's West Virginia cousin? Speaking of which, does anybody else notice their similarity? They look eerily alike to me, that is until Kevin decided to stop cutting and washing his hair. He also reminds me of Billy Bob Thorton. Odd he is.
So this whole thing (other than the random I guess post hoc interviews) was taped on a regular-ass video camera. If this is where reality television is heading, expect my show in the fall. It seems like Britney saw "The Blair Witch Project" and thought, "Golly, I could do somethin like that there". It's both ghetto and trailer at the same time. The editing makes little sense. There are frequent cuts between Britney "in concert" (meaning, she has on a wig and is moving her mouth) and Britney in the dressing room. This chick is for real not pretty when she's not made up. Which reminds me, look at this picture. If you don't roll over in laughter you're not human. Shit is hilarious. I would never get with this ho looking like that all the time. I bet she has killer morning breath, too. She looks all kinds of rough. I bet her and Kevin reek havoc on some Slim Jims. I don't think they can decide between wanting to be thugs or bumpkins. They're a confusing couple.
Ok, I just looked at my title and it reminded me of the theme song. The song that plays at the beginning is one that didn't make Britney's last album. First, if it didn't make the album it must have been pretty bad because some of the stuff that actually did make the album was painful on the ears. So they decided it would be better as the theme song for her reality show. I think whoever works for Michael Jackson (all his yes men) also work for Britney Spears. Second, the words. I am sure she wrote this one herself. "Aw shucks Jaime Lynn, I am gonna write me a little song today. I was reading the dictionary, you know, so then I will look smart, and I saw this word. I had to ask Madonna what it meant. She's all into kaballah, which means you're smart, so she would know. And was like, 'Oh my gah, this would be such a purty song'. So then I went over to Sweden and found that guy who did 'Oops I Did It Again' and had him produce it. I just love how he makes all my songs sound alike. But like, you know, I was like, 'My life is chaotic'. And it reminded me of a perfume they sell at Piggly Wiggly, so I knew it was the one." Goofy-ass shit. The song sucks. The show is by no means compelling. It could've used the scripting The Simple Life used. I don't think, however, it was meant to be a reality show because it seems way bootleg. I will probably watch it again though. It's so bad, but damn it, I am struggling for television these days. A little over a month until Bobby Brown is on. Thank god. ¶ 12:38 PM
So this whole thing (other than the random I guess post hoc interviews) was taped on a regular-ass video camera. If this is where reality television is heading, expect my show in the fall. It seems like Britney saw "The Blair Witch Project" and thought, "Golly, I could do somethin like that there". It's both ghetto and trailer at the same time. The editing makes little sense. There are frequent cuts between Britney "in concert" (meaning, she has on a wig and is moving her mouth) and Britney in the dressing room. This chick is for real not pretty when she's not made up. Which reminds me, look at this picture. If you don't roll over in laughter you're not human. Shit is hilarious. I would never get with this ho looking like that all the time. I bet she has killer morning breath, too. She looks all kinds of rough. I bet her and Kevin reek havoc on some Slim Jims. I don't think they can decide between wanting to be thugs or bumpkins. They're a confusing couple.
Ok, I just looked at my title and it reminded me of the theme song. The song that plays at the beginning is one that didn't make Britney's last album. First, if it didn't make the album it must have been pretty bad because some of the stuff that actually did make the album was painful on the ears. So they decided it would be better as the theme song for her reality show. I think whoever works for Michael Jackson (all his yes men) also work for Britney Spears. Second, the words. I am sure she wrote this one herself. "Aw shucks Jaime Lynn, I am gonna write me a little song today. I was reading the dictionary, you know, so then I will look smart, and I saw this word. I had to ask Madonna what it meant. She's all into kaballah, which means you're smart, so she would know. And was like, 'Oh my gah, this would be such a purty song'. So then I went over to Sweden and found that guy who did 'Oops I Did It Again' and had him produce it. I just love how he makes all my songs sound alike. But like, you know, I was like, 'My life is chaotic'. And it reminded me of a perfume they sell at Piggly Wiggly, so I knew it was the one." Goofy-ass shit. The song sucks. The show is by no means compelling. It could've used the scripting The Simple Life used. I don't think, however, it was meant to be a reality show because it seems way bootleg. I will probably watch it again though. It's so bad, but damn it, I am struggling for television these days. A little over a month until Bobby Brown is on. Thank god. ¶ 12:38 PM
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Hilarious post. Her show is like a car accident, you don't want to watch but you can't help it. Great review, good job.
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