You know, I love the bathroom. Ok, I really don't, but I do spend a large almost inordinate amount of time in there (for reasons only known to myself and a select few who can handle my shit, no pun intended). I think this has been the case my entire life. My parents told me wherever I went, I had to use their bathroom. Something about seeing different bathrooms or something. Anyway, sometimes they are kind of cool. Except when they have the creepy service-man who offer you cologne and soap. That's odd to me. I can get my own soap and paper towels. And there is certainly no reason for me to have to tip you because you put soap in my hand. I digress.
So as an avid user and fan of bathrooms, I know which ones to use and which ones not to. Which ones have overflow problems and which ones the handle breaks off and it leaks water everywhere (another story). But regardless of the amenities in the bathrooms, for the most part, they all smell bad. Either like shit or some stank cleaning product, but they all stink. And that's cool because it is a bathroom and I understand what goes down in there. So all of this leads up to last night's episode in the bathroom.
Good god. I walked in and had to restrain myself from vomiting. It smelled god-awful. Like someone's dog had attacked the bathroom after eating chocolate or something (I believe chocolate and dogs are not a good mix). So I am trying to brush my teeth and breathe through my mouth when I realize there is someone in the stall. This ho is sitting on top of whatever that deadly smell is. Does your own smell not gross you out? You're sitting on top of Satan's stench and not doing anything about it!? It was disgusting. My friend did not smell it, but whoa, it was pungent.
So if it smells bad (and you know when you lay down a stinker), give the toilet a flush. Do yourself and everyone else entering and leaving the bathroom a favor by giving a courtesy flush. I've grossed myself out before with the odor emanating from the toilet, so I've done the courtesy flush not only for others, but also for my damn self. It smells like shit to me, why would I want to sit there and take that all in? There just is no reason to do that to you or to others. And man, sometimes I swear it was the cow building at the fair it smells so bad. And it's not even that I am disgusted by the act (tell me someone who doesn't take a shit) or that I am grossed out by talking about it (see everything I've already said or have a conversation with me), but the poop smell is not hot. And for someone to sit on top of that while I'm gasping for air is not healthy for anyone.
Ah. I think I end up putting near-whole conversations I have with my friend on here. But damn it, sometimes mess is too funny not to share.
