Friday, September 09, 2005
Shit and run
As many of you folks who have been reading my shit for a minute know, I have issues with the bathroom. Be it my own undiagnosed gastrointestinal disorder or the damn fools that like to create chaos up in there, something always seems to be going down involving the bathroom and myself. It has been the story of my college experience. Why should this year be any different?
So this freshman fool took it upon himself to police the bathrooms. And not in any kind of way you might think. He wasn't stopping pissing on the toilet seat, using too much toilet paper or people taking showers without any kind of shoe on (folks pee in the shower, bathing barefoot is disgusting). He apparently had been observing nearly everyone since he moved in. And he noticed that people did not wash their hands after shitting. Ok, may be kind of gross, but that is not my business. If you want to not wash your hands, be my guest. I don't do it sometimes because the soap doesn't lather and it feels like no cleaning is being done (not to say I am a person who does nasty things like pee or shit on their hands). Anyway, this fella decided it was his duty to step it up and lay down the law.
So he outlined his plan for assuring clean hands and banning, as he phrased it, "Shit and runs". I misread it as like people who have shits and/or runs. Anyway. Apparently, it is our mama's duty to make sure we wash our hands after shitting and girls would be notified. If you are in fact friends with girls, my friend, I'm not worried about them. They're friends with Mr. Clean. You make me look like Jude Law or something. My only qualm, "Do you shit on your hands!?" I don't. It has never been a problem. And I certainly do not watch for other people with poop hands to see if they are washing their's. I find this so odd. I use the bathroom and leave. I'm not looking at what other folks are doing or not doing. That's their thing. If I want to shit on my hands, is not on me to decide? This guy decided it would be his call to save the world of shitty hands. There's all kinds of catastrophe going down in the Gulf, and he's worried about folks shitting on their hands. Good god.
Today, someone was royally stinking up the bathroom. I understand this; it's a bathroom not a flower shop. Homie with the shit hand sign went in and sprayed air freshener. That's cool man. Are you a grandma or something? It's a bathroom. You don't live up in there. If it smells up in my room, spray all the air freshener you want. But the bathroom is a generally stinky place. Let it go!
I guess I should take my own advice and let this mess go. It just pisses me off that I had to look at this sign for like five days. And now I'm anal (haha) about being conspicuous when washing my hands. I will not be known as Shitty Hands, even if I never shit on them. Ugh. I don't think President Bush likes shitty hands, either.
P.S.
This does not mean I don't wash my hands! I just have trouble with someone else policing the bathroom behaviors of others. Go in, do your thing, get out. Don't talk to folks, don't be watching me to see how many paper towels I use. It is just the bathroom. ¶ 12:38 PM
So this freshman fool took it upon himself to police the bathrooms. And not in any kind of way you might think. He wasn't stopping pissing on the toilet seat, using too much toilet paper or people taking showers without any kind of shoe on (folks pee in the shower, bathing barefoot is disgusting). He apparently had been observing nearly everyone since he moved in. And he noticed that people did not wash their hands after shitting. Ok, may be kind of gross, but that is not my business. If you want to not wash your hands, be my guest. I don't do it sometimes because the soap doesn't lather and it feels like no cleaning is being done (not to say I am a person who does nasty things like pee or shit on their hands). Anyway, this fella decided it was his duty to step it up and lay down the law.
So he outlined his plan for assuring clean hands and banning, as he phrased it, "Shit and runs". I misread it as like people who have shits and/or runs. Anyway. Apparently, it is our mama's duty to make sure we wash our hands after shitting and girls would be notified. If you are in fact friends with girls, my friend, I'm not worried about them. They're friends with Mr. Clean. You make me look like Jude Law or something. My only qualm, "Do you shit on your hands!?" I don't. It has never been a problem. And I certainly do not watch for other people with poop hands to see if they are washing their's. I find this so odd. I use the bathroom and leave. I'm not looking at what other folks are doing or not doing. That's their thing. If I want to shit on my hands, is not on me to decide? This guy decided it would be his call to save the world of shitty hands. There's all kinds of catastrophe going down in the Gulf, and he's worried about folks shitting on their hands. Good god.
Today, someone was royally stinking up the bathroom. I understand this; it's a bathroom not a flower shop. Homie with the shit hand sign went in and sprayed air freshener. That's cool man. Are you a grandma or something? It's a bathroom. You don't live up in there. If it smells up in my room, spray all the air freshener you want. But the bathroom is a generally stinky place. Let it go!
I guess I should take my own advice and let this mess go. It just pisses me off that I had to look at this sign for like five days. And now I'm anal (haha) about being conspicuous when washing my hands. I will not be known as Shitty Hands, even if I never shit on them. Ugh. I don't think President Bush likes shitty hands, either.
P.S.
This does not mean I don't wash my hands! I just have trouble with someone else policing the bathroom behaviors of others. Go in, do your thing, get out. Don't talk to folks, don't be watching me to see how many paper towels I use. It is just the bathroom. ¶ 12:38 PM
