Friday, September 16, 2005
An open letter to Truett Cathy and Chick-fil-a (inter alia)
Dear Truett Cathy and everybody who works at Chick-fil-a,
I have a bone to pick with you. I love Chick-fil-a, I sincerely do. I love everything you guys have (ok, except for the coleslaw, wraps and that raisin and carrot salad…ok, really only the chicken sandwiches, brownies, nuggets and strips). It’s all so good. And every time I go to one of the free-standing restaurants, I am greeted with friendly people who expertly feign their concern for my happiness. Fools have me convinced that I am their number one priority! Within minutes of my ordering, I am given my food. So speedy and quick, always with the right amount of cooking done. So why would any other Chick-fil-a be different? That is my question to you. All of you.
There is something off about Chick-fil-a restaurants on college campuses. Something is missing. The food tastes different. I waited ten minutes today for a twelve pack of nuggets. Ten minutes, Truett! You guys pride yourselves on fast food. That is slow food. I want my nuggets sooner, rather than later. Later should never be an option. If I wanted to wait, I would have gone to Subway! There were five people standing behind the counter. No sandwiches, nuggets or fries available. Your business is cooking food. There should never be a short supply. Ever. However, at this particular outlet, there is consistently a shortage of fried goodness. Why? That is your job. When you see the nuggets getting low, throw some in the fryer. It’s all automated homie; you don’t have to do shit except take them out when the buzzer goes off. It is not hard. Why, oh why, must I wait for food when it should be sitting there waiting on me? There is no excuse. This is making me heated. This particular place wouldn’t know what heated means, as sometimes they like to serve cold waffle fries.
I am a fried food connoisseur. I know what is good and what is not. This particular Chick-fil-a does not know correct frying procedures. Sometimes, it’s over-fried to the point of disgusting. And then other times Truett, it’s under-fried, as in not cooked. Do the fools you let act as ambassadors of Chick-fil-a-ness know what standards you need to be holding sacred!? I don’t think they do. And that upsets me. I have been a fan of Chick-fil-a for forever, as long as I can remember. I don’t want to not give you my money, but these folks are asking for it. I was this __ close to asking for the manager. I don’t care how well you can sing or if you can’t speak English, I want my damn chicken nuggets! And folks were trying to twist it on me, like I was acting too good for a chicken sandwich. I had wanted nuggets for like half an hour and I wanted them then. Nothing else would do. I wasn’t going to settle just because these fools couldn’t get their mess together. Nope, not today. And then this guy who worked there asked me if I needed anything. Nope, I like to stand in front of food for fun, don’t mind me. No, cot damn it, I want a twelve pack of nuggets! This is your job, get to frying!
So as I step down of my soap box of waffle fries and ice dream cones, I beg of you Truett, get your act together. Don’t let these people carry on like this. Something must be done. I don’t expect a revolution. I simply expect to get nuggets when I walk up to the counter. That’s all that I ask. Next time when you’re counting up all your money one of those Sunday mornings (cause you know no Chick-fil-a fool works on Sunday), think of the people who want and value the fried deliciousness you provide and know that they deserve more than what you have been giving them. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Concerned, hungry fried chicken fan
In other news, I’m on this medicine that dries out like every part of my body. I’m sitting in class thinking my nose is running like a mother. Nope, it was straight-up bleeding. Not cool. It was kind of hard to play off, but I think it worked, other than the bloody crust on my nostril. Who looks at those anyway? My doctor told me to buy some kind of something to put up in there. I now have no clue what it’s called. I also think he talked about Vaseline. So I bought some and put in my nose. We’ll see how it goes.
Oh, and I’m in total obsession with Coldplay right now. I have been liking them for a while (since their second, and may I say classic, album). I look at websites man. This is bad. I want to own every song they’ve ever made. Is that bad? Like, I feel it’s better than crack or something. They’re such a good band. I believe they are my favorite. I don’t care if they sing a bunch of slow, “I want to slit my wrists” songs. Shit is hot. ¶ 3:03 PM
I have a bone to pick with you. I love Chick-fil-a, I sincerely do. I love everything you guys have (ok, except for the coleslaw, wraps and that raisin and carrot salad…ok, really only the chicken sandwiches, brownies, nuggets and strips). It’s all so good. And every time I go to one of the free-standing restaurants, I am greeted with friendly people who expertly feign their concern for my happiness. Fools have me convinced that I am their number one priority! Within minutes of my ordering, I am given my food. So speedy and quick, always with the right amount of cooking done. So why would any other Chick-fil-a be different? That is my question to you. All of you.
There is something off about Chick-fil-a restaurants on college campuses. Something is missing. The food tastes different. I waited ten minutes today for a twelve pack of nuggets. Ten minutes, Truett! You guys pride yourselves on fast food. That is slow food. I want my nuggets sooner, rather than later. Later should never be an option. If I wanted to wait, I would have gone to Subway! There were five people standing behind the counter. No sandwiches, nuggets or fries available. Your business is cooking food. There should never be a short supply. Ever. However, at this particular outlet, there is consistently a shortage of fried goodness. Why? That is your job. When you see the nuggets getting low, throw some in the fryer. It’s all automated homie; you don’t have to do shit except take them out when the buzzer goes off. It is not hard. Why, oh why, must I wait for food when it should be sitting there waiting on me? There is no excuse. This is making me heated. This particular place wouldn’t know what heated means, as sometimes they like to serve cold waffle fries.
I am a fried food connoisseur. I know what is good and what is not. This particular Chick-fil-a does not know correct frying procedures. Sometimes, it’s over-fried to the point of disgusting. And then other times Truett, it’s under-fried, as in not cooked. Do the fools you let act as ambassadors of Chick-fil-a-ness know what standards you need to be holding sacred!? I don’t think they do. And that upsets me. I have been a fan of Chick-fil-a for forever, as long as I can remember. I don’t want to not give you my money, but these folks are asking for it. I was this __ close to asking for the manager. I don’t care how well you can sing or if you can’t speak English, I want my damn chicken nuggets! And folks were trying to twist it on me, like I was acting too good for a chicken sandwich. I had wanted nuggets for like half an hour and I wanted them then. Nothing else would do. I wasn’t going to settle just because these fools couldn’t get their mess together. Nope, not today. And then this guy who worked there asked me if I needed anything. Nope, I like to stand in front of food for fun, don’t mind me. No, cot damn it, I want a twelve pack of nuggets! This is your job, get to frying!
So as I step down of my soap box of waffle fries and ice dream cones, I beg of you Truett, get your act together. Don’t let these people carry on like this. Something must be done. I don’t expect a revolution. I simply expect to get nuggets when I walk up to the counter. That’s all that I ask. Next time when you’re counting up all your money one of those Sunday mornings (cause you know no Chick-fil-a fool works on Sunday), think of the people who want and value the fried deliciousness you provide and know that they deserve more than what you have been giving them. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Concerned, hungry fried chicken fan
In other news, I’m on this medicine that dries out like every part of my body. I’m sitting in class thinking my nose is running like a mother. Nope, it was straight-up bleeding. Not cool. It was kind of hard to play off, but I think it worked, other than the bloody crust on my nostril. Who looks at those anyway? My doctor told me to buy some kind of something to put up in there. I now have no clue what it’s called. I also think he talked about Vaseline. So I bought some and put in my nose. We’ll see how it goes.
Oh, and I’m in total obsession with Coldplay right now. I have been liking them for a while (since their second, and may I say classic, album). I look at websites man. This is bad. I want to own every song they’ve ever made. Is that bad? Like, I feel it’s better than crack or something. They’re such a good band. I believe they are my favorite. I don’t care if they sing a bunch of slow, “I want to slit my wrists” songs. Shit is hot. ¶ 3:03 PM
