SHAZZAM
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
So, I’ve been gone for a while. I really haven’t had much to say about much of anything. Rather than spill my guts about the retardedness that has pretty much been my life here lately, I have been taking note of things that I could perhaps wax on. At any rate, I think I finally have something to write about. And the writing bug has been biting lately, so this is perhaps, my attempt at scratching that itch. That being said, do not expect anything particularly life changing in this post. I really haven’t changed too much!
We’ve all, by now, seen the commercials for Kentucky Fried Chicken’s “Famous Bowls”. I have several points of contention with these “famous” bowls. First, how can something brand new be automatically famous? If you are the Oreck vacuum, then you could be called famous. But it’s taken Mr. Oreck fifty-thousand years to convince people that his eight-pound vacuum really is the shit—so it could be called famous. But these random bowls of random shit found in the fridge takes a little more convincing for me to believe it is “famous”. Which brings me to my next point, whose idea was it to mix all of those things together? Ok, I get it: chicken and potatoes. KFC has been killing it with these two things for years! Add the gravy, and you’ve got your normal bucket of chicken and mashed potatoes in one container. Maybe people really like it all mixed up together anyway? So up to that point, I’m kind of seeing it as being delicious, not famous…yet. And then you had the corn? Three words: What. The. Fuck.
This seems to be a lame attempt at the dish we like to call a casserole. But it really seems like all of this mess is just thrown into this bowl, with no real reason behind it. Like the chicken and potatoes I understand, but the corn kind of baffles me. So while this is kind of confusing, the real kicker is the shredded cheese. Colonel Sanders must be rolling over in his chicken-bucket shaped coffin because this is retarded. It is not even melted cheese—it’s straight out of the Kraft bag and thrown on top of all this confusion. Who thinks all of this stuff would taste good? Ok, I, myself, have not experienced said “Famous Bowl”, but if anything, the above is really reason not to. This brings me back to my first point. How can something that just came out already be famous? Something tells me there was no undercurrent of excitement behind the first “Famous Bowl” put into local KFC’s, so I am a bit confused as to why it is already famous. I could spin in circles about this, but it really does leave me confused.
Now that I think about it, this whole famous bowl tirade is a bit over-the-top. But it does weird me out. I am currently looking at a Coldplay website, and realizing how much I really do love them. I recently attended a Dave Matthews Band concert. I am not really into that kind of music, that kind meaning rock. Or in Dave’s case, a kind of hippie music. The concert was really good, and I am perhaps a fan of the band now. But nobody, I said nobody!, will take the place of Coldplay!
Anyway, I was going to go into this whole story about how I work outside and it has been raining a shit ton here lately and how people still insist on doing things in the rain that would otherwise keep normal, crack-free people inside. But I really don’t have the heart for it. I think you kind of get the drift in the above few sentences.
So, I am currently “researching” for a post to be made later in the summer. Considering like five people read this thing, no one probably cares. But it should be interesting to write. It should be kind of funny. Looking at everything I’ve just written I feel like it’s a bunch of goofiness, but those damn bowls really are dumb! ¶ 10:09 PM 0 comments
We’ve all, by now, seen the commercials for Kentucky Fried Chicken’s “Famous Bowls”. I have several points of contention with these “famous” bowls. First, how can something brand new be automatically famous? If you are the Oreck vacuum, then you could be called famous. But it’s taken Mr. Oreck fifty-thousand years to convince people that his eight-pound vacuum really is the shit—so it could be called famous. But these random bowls of random shit found in the fridge takes a little more convincing for me to believe it is “famous”. Which brings me to my next point, whose idea was it to mix all of those things together? Ok, I get it: chicken and potatoes. KFC has been killing it with these two things for years! Add the gravy, and you’ve got your normal bucket of chicken and mashed potatoes in one container. Maybe people really like it all mixed up together anyway? So up to that point, I’m kind of seeing it as being delicious, not famous…yet. And then you had the corn? Three words: What. The. Fuck.
This seems to be a lame attempt at the dish we like to call a casserole. But it really seems like all of this mess is just thrown into this bowl, with no real reason behind it. Like the chicken and potatoes I understand, but the corn kind of baffles me. So while this is kind of confusing, the real kicker is the shredded cheese. Colonel Sanders must be rolling over in his chicken-bucket shaped coffin because this is retarded. It is not even melted cheese—it’s straight out of the Kraft bag and thrown on top of all this confusion. Who thinks all of this stuff would taste good? Ok, I, myself, have not experienced said “Famous Bowl”, but if anything, the above is really reason not to. This brings me back to my first point. How can something that just came out already be famous? Something tells me there was no undercurrent of excitement behind the first “Famous Bowl” put into local KFC’s, so I am a bit confused as to why it is already famous. I could spin in circles about this, but it really does leave me confused.
Now that I think about it, this whole famous bowl tirade is a bit over-the-top. But it does weird me out. I am currently looking at a Coldplay website, and realizing how much I really do love them. I recently attended a Dave Matthews Band concert. I am not really into that kind of music, that kind meaning rock. Or in Dave’s case, a kind of hippie music. The concert was really good, and I am perhaps a fan of the band now. But nobody, I said nobody!, will take the place of Coldplay!
Anyway, I was going to go into this whole story about how I work outside and it has been raining a shit ton here lately and how people still insist on doing things in the rain that would otherwise keep normal, crack-free people inside. But I really don’t have the heart for it. I think you kind of get the drift in the above few sentences.
So, I am currently “researching” for a post to be made later in the summer. Considering like five people read this thing, no one probably cares. But it should be interesting to write. It should be kind of funny. Looking at everything I’ve just written I feel like it’s a bunch of goofiness, but those damn bowls really are dumb! ¶ 10:09 PM 0 comments
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Nothing comes easily
I am still alive. I know I haven't written too much recently, but I am really waiting for the stories to tell themselves. Also, the complete lack of writable hilarity and/or crackheadedness has stifled my writing here. There has been some retardness that I could talk about, but I am kind of over those people. I will be back when I have something to say, I suppose.
Labels: random
¶ 11:17 PM 0 comments
